I love you It's the truth It's also true that… I'll lose you
by KatyDancerDaly
Summary: Why is Charlie so afraid of confined spaces? What's it really like to be a prince without people? What does it mean to not belong anywhere? What's it like to lose the people you love the most? What's it like to lose everyone? What does it mean to really love someone? - Just a few questions I want to answer about Charlie, Matteusz and their relationship.
1. Panic Attack

"I love you. It's the truth. It's also true that… I'll lose you."

So, I've just watched the 6th episode of the new BBC Spin-off "Class" – Detained. It was awesome. But it left me with a few questions, which I'm going to try and answer in this fic. The biggest one, **why is Charlie so afraid of confined spaces?** – I Love Charlie and Matteusz, and their relationship as a whole, so this Fanfic will centre on them.

This first Chapter happens during the scene in the episode. The dialogue (and characters) belong to the BBC, but the inner most thoughts are mine. – also, I have added more description to try and emphasise the extent of Charlie's fear.

 **Charlie** POV

I don't really know what's going on, I can't feel all this anger that's consuming them. All I can see is that we're are stuck in this room with no way out. Oh, God, there's no way out….

(moving away from the others, the room seems to spin, as Charlie reaches the door, and breathes heavily)

There's no way out. I can't be trapped again, I can't, I…. I can't breathe.

 _CHARLIE PANTS_

 **Matteusz** : "Hey?" Walks over to Charlie.

Oh God, it hurts. Why does it hurt? What hurts? Not again, I can't I can't I…

 _CHARLIE GROANS_

 **Matteusz** : "It's okay."

Matteusz reaches Charlie and places a hand on his shoulder.

 **Charlie** : "My heart, it feels like I'm… _(breathing heavily/Panting)_ I think I'm dying.

 **Matteusz** : "No, I know, this… this is a panic attack."

 **Charlie** : "What?"

 **Matteusz** : "An attack of panic."

 **Charlie** : "Oh."

If he knew why I was panicking, he'd be panicking to. I can't do it again, I can't be trapped again.

(Charlie continues panting)

 **Matteusz** : "Sometimes, it feels like death, it's not." (Matteusz places his hands on to Charlie's face)

Matteusz's hands on my face make it easier to breathe somehow, although I don't understand why but I still can't escape, I'm is still trapped. Trapped by fear. By panic. By them.

 **Matteusz** : "Look at me. Look at me. Breathe with me. (Matteusz and Charlie breathe together, the room seems to stop spinning) Good Job. I'm here."

 **Charlie** : "I'm erm having real trouble being trapped in a confined space."

I can't tell them. not now. not here. Not yet. not while he's so afraid of me.

The next Chapter will begin after the episode.

Charlie: "I think we have some things to talk about."

Matteusz: "Yes. We do."


	2. Fall Apart

Chapter 2 – A few days after the last chapter, it's a Monday morning.

 **Matteusz's** POV

(Matteusz is stood in the corridor in front of the lockers, with his arms folded, his eyes are fixed on Charlie who is looking through his locker on the opposite side of the corridor. He is stood next to April, who while looking through her locker is muttering something that Matteusz barely hears.)

 **April:** "Matteusz!"

(The sound of his name pulled him out of his trance.)

 **Matteusz:** "Huh. No, Sorry." (Matteusz answers quietly.)

(April closes her locker, turns around and follows Matteusz's gaze.)

 **April:** "Matteusz…. Is he still not talking to you?"

 **Matteusz:** "It's like he's just switched off. He has not kicked me out, we still sleep in the same bed and everything. He just says nothing. He won't even look at me, not properly."

 **April:** "He'll come to his senses. What you said it was, it was just a bit of a shock that's all."

 **Matteusz:** "How are you and Ram?" (He asks looking directly at April.)

 **April:** "Fair point." (April sighs and pauses for a moment.) "Come on we've got Maths to get to."

(April begins to walk away, leaving Matteusz stood at his locker still watching Charlie.)

 **April:** "Matteusz. Come on."

 **Matteusz:** "Coming."

(As April and Matteusz walk down the corridor, Charlie turns to watch them walk away.)

 **Charlie** POV

He looks so sad. Maybe I should just forgive him, after all, I never would have found out if… but I did find out. He's afraid of me. Everyone's afraid of me. I'm afraid of me.

(Charlie sighs and shuts his locker, holding his maths book in his hand. He looks to his right to see Ram approaching and smiles weakly.)

 **Charlie:** "I wasn't sure I'd see you today."

 **Ram:** "I've got football training after school. (Ram is now walking alongside Charlie) No way my dad would let me go if I didn't come in today."

 **Charlie:** "Funny isn't it. He sees you save the world and he is still so insistent on these 'grades'.

 **Ram:** "Did you not have exams on your planet?"

 **Charlie:** "I didn't go to school."

 **Ram:** "Lucky."

(Charlie laughs quietly, smiling for the first time since last week's events.)

 **Charlie:** "I had a tutor to teach me to read and write. And lessons on the history of Rhodia. Everything a Prince who will one day become King needs to know. But I guess I don't need to know any of that anymore."

(An awkward silence falls over the two of them for a moment.)

 **Charlie:** "Have you spoke to April yet?"

 **Ram:** "No. What about Matteusz? Or Quill?"

 **Charlie:** "I haven't seen Quill since last week."

 **Ram:** "Charlie." (Ram places a hand on Charlie's shoulder, stopping him as he slightly stands in front of him.) "Are you okay?"

 **Charlie:** "Not really, no. I should be asking you the same question." (They continue walking.)

(Ram and Charlie reach the Classroom. As they walk in they notice Matteusz and April sat next to each other on the second row of the tables in the classroom, Tanya is sat in her usual seat in the front of the classroom.

Ram avoids making eye contact with April as he moves to the back of the classroom and sits at the desk in the right-hand side of the classroom. For a moment, Charlie makes eye contact with Matteusz, and looks as if he wants to speak. Instead, he takes a deep breath and goes to sit at the desk next to Ram. Matteusz turns around to look at Charlie who immediately looks down at his book, avoiding Matteusz gaze.

At that moment the teacher arrives and begins to write on the whiteboard. Matteusz turns around as he begins to speak.)

… **.**

(At the end of the class as students begin to leave.)

 **Matteusz** POV

I need to talk to him. I can't do this anymore, I can't take the silence.

 **Matteusz:** "Charlie. Please. We need to talk." (Matteusz says as Charlie walks past his seat.)

(Matteusz stands and running past Charlie makes it to the doorway before him, blocking his exit.)

 **Charlie:** "YOU CAN'T MAKE ME STAY IN HERE." (Charlie shouts, immediately going quiet as he realises he's over reacted. He sees the confused and slightly frightened look in Matteusz's eyes.) "Sorry. I don't mean to make you afraid of me."

 **Matteusz:** "I'm sorry. (He says quickly realising his mistake of blocking the exit.)

I wonder why he is claustrophobic? I really need to find out where that comes from. But that's not what's important right now.

(Moving away from the door, so that Charlie can clearly see his exist, Matteusz goes to touch Charlie, who moves away. Charlie moving away is enough to show Matteusz just how hurt he is.)

 **Matteusz:** "Please Charlie. It is lunch, just five minutes."

 **Charlie:** "Five minutes." (Charlie agrees looking at Matteusz for the first time properly since last week. He looks as if he's about to cry, and the thought almost breaks Charlie. He turns to hide the tear that runs down his cheek.)

 **Matteusz:** "Can I shut the door? Just to give us a little privacy."

(Charlie nods, afraid that if he were to speak he would fall apart. As Matteusz shuts the classroom door Charlie takes the first seat in front of him, placing his bag on the floor next to him.)

 **Charlie** POV.

(As he hears the door shut Charlie closes his eyes for a moment, trying to find the composure he needs to form a comprehensible sentence. Matteusz sits at the table next to Charlie. For a moment, the room is so silent that Matteusz can hear Charlie's breath hitch, as he forces down the urge to cry. Instinctively Matteusz grabs Charlie's hand, jumping at this sudden interaction and the intense wave of emotions it brings on. Charlie stands and walks to the window, wiping the tears that fall down his face.)

 **Matteusz:** "Charlie I'm sorry. What I said last week, it… it wasn't me. It was the stone."

 **Charlie:** "But it was still the truth." (Charlie says more angrily than he had meant to. He turns as he speaks, again looking at Matteusz).

 **Matteusz:** "I never would have said it, if it wasn't for that stupid stone.

 **Charlie:** "But you'd still have thought it. You'd still be afraid of me. Everyone's always afraid of me." (The last sentence he says is more of a whisper than the others. Charlie looks away, sinking to the floor as he feels the tears begin to flow, this time he cannot hold them back. As he cry's his body is visibly shaking.)

Oh great! Now I'm crying and shaking. I can't stop shaking. A Prince should never be this weak, but I'm not a Prince, not now that there's no one to rule over. Not anymore.

(Charlie brings his knees to his chest, hugging them as he tries to quiet the uncontrollable cry's that escape his body. This is the first time he's cried properly since Rhodia and he's not sure how to stop it.)

(By the time Charlie speaks, Matteusz is by his side, kneeling.)

 **Charlie:** "I'm a Prince, Matteusz. (Charlie says looking at Matteusz, pausing for a second, still crying and shaking.) "I'm a Prince. It's all I've ever known. It's all I know how to be. And now I'm not a Prince. Now I don't… I don't have a people. Now I'm sat on this strange planet, it a room, crying in front of someone who I can't stop thinking about, who I'm terrified I'm going to lose, like I lost everyone else. And I don't know how to stop it. I don't know how to stop losing everyone I care about."

I can't breathe. The last time I felt this rush of emotion mother died, and I just ran. But I can't run this time, I have nowhere to run to.

(Charlie's breathing quickens and he goes pale. Matteusz attempts to calm him.)

 **Matteusz:** "Charlie, you are not going to lose me. I promise. I'm here. I love you. (Matteusz places a hand on Charlie's face, wiping away the tears that continue to fall.) Charlie, can you hear me? Charlie. I'm here, tell me you can hear me, please. Just breath Charlie. Breath for me. Please."

The room suddenly went blurry, I can't hear Matteusz talking, I know he's talking to me I just can't hear what he's saying. I can't really hear anything. I just feel exausted, I'm not sure I can hold my eyes open much longer. I think I'm going to pass out.

(It's at that moment that the room goes completely dark.)

(Charlie collapses into Matteusz, eyes closed he is no longer making any noise, although tears are still falling and his body is still shaking. Matteusz cannot hear him breathe and he is terrified.)

 **Matteusz** POV

 **Matteusz:** "Charlie. Charlie, please wake up." (Matteusz begs, shouting a little louder than he had meant to, he too is now crying uncontrollably.)

(On hearing him shout, April who was waiting in the corridor outside, runs into the room.)

 **April:** "Oh my god. Matti what happened?" (April asks bending down by Matteusz and Charlie.)

 **Matteusz:** "We were talking, and he was crying and he just passed out. I don't know. Is he breathing April? Please tell me he's breathing." (Matteusz looks at April, his eyes pleading with her.)

(Charlie is clearly still breathing and April is a little confused as to why Matteusz can't see this. He's in shock, she notes. As she looks directly at Matteusz speaking in a calmer, more assertive tone.)

 **April:** "Matteusz, he's breathing. He's just passed out, he'll be fine. We just need to get him out of here okay. Let's take him home, he needs rest. You both do. "

 **Matteusz:** "Okay." (Although Matteusz isn't sure exactly what he agreed to. He stopped listening after April said Charlie would be okay. He strokes Charlies head as he calls himself.)

 **April:** "Matti listen to me. We need to get him home. I need you to help. Okay?"

(Matteusz moves himself so his in a position where he can pick Charlie up. He places both arms under Charlie, who is so limp that if April had not told him the opposite were true, Matteusz wouldn't be sure that he was breathing. The thought of this made a few more tears fall from Matteusz's eyes, he ignores them, standing with Charlie in his arms.)

Please be okay Charlie. Please.

(As Matteusz walks to the door holding Charlie, April grabs all their bags, before holding open the door for Matteusz and Charlie to go through.)

(As the three of them walk down the hall, Ram and Tanya spot them and run over.)

 **Ram:** "What happened to him? He was fine before, well you know not fine, but okay. What happened?"

 **Tanya:** "Is he okay?"

 **April:** "He passed out, he'll be fine, we just need to get him out of here."

 **Tanya:** "Matteusz, are you okay?"

 **Ram:** "Do you want me to take him?"

 **Matteusz:** "I've got him." (Matteusz answers so quietly that he is barely heard by the others.)

 **Ram:** "Take him to my car, I'll give you guys a ride home."

…

 **Matteusz** POV

(The group reaches Ram's car. Putting Charlie into the back seat of the car, Matteusz gets him next to him. Noticing his face is still red and the tears are still falling, Matteusz whispers to Charlie as the others get in the car. April sits on the other side of Charlie, and Tanya sits in the front of the car next to Ram, who starting the car as they drive to Charlie and Matteusz's home.)

 **Matteusz:** "It is going to be okay Charlie. Do you hear me? We are going to get through this. I promise you. It'll be fine." (Matteusz whispers, unsure of whether it is himself or Charlie that needs the most convincing of this fact.)

I don't know if I believe what I'm saying. But he has to be okay, he just has to. If he can hear me he has to believe that he'll be okay. I don't know what I believe without him. I can't be without him, I just can't.

 **Matteusz:** "I love you, Charlie." (Matteusz says kissing Charlie on the forehead.)

The next Chapter will take place when the group get back to Charlie and Matteusz's house.

I hope you enjoyed this Chapter. Keep reading.


	3. Awake

Chapter 3

 **Charlie** POV

(Charlie opens his eyes slowly, rubbing his face and slowly stretching, as his eyes become accustom to the light that floods in. He sits straight up in bed a little confused as to where he is)

How did I get to my bedroom? The last thing I remember was talking to Matteusz and then everything just went black. Oh God, did I pass out? Really. I can't believe I let myself go like that.

(On realising what had happened, Charlie lies back down slowly, rubbing his hands over his face.)

 **Charlie:** "Oh no."

(For a moment Charlies lies with his hands flat on his stomach, trying but avoiding to think about everything. The thoughts rushing around his head so fast, that they again take his breath away. But one there's one thing, or should I say person, that sticks out above all else...)

 **Charlie:** "Matteusz" (sighs).

(Charlie has to take a few deep breaths, eyes closed, to calm himself enough to stop the rushing thoughts. He sits up, pushing the blanket off himself, moving to the edge of his bed. He grips the sides of the bed tightly, trying to hold back the slight urge to pass out. He notices the glass of water on the bed side locker, taking it, he drinks slowly.)

Just breathe. Charlie you can do this. Just breathe.

(He gets up standing slowly, remembering how passing out felt, not wanting that feeling to return. He walks slowly away from his bed, forgoing his shoes. Walking down the stairs towards his bedroom door, the voices of the others downstairs become louder. He can hear them all, all except Matteusz.)

(Starting out as a whisper, this conversation get louder as Charlie reaches the Livingroom where they are all siting.)

 **Ram:** "What actually happened? I mean one minute he's fine, the next he's completely out of it. I don't understand."

 **Tanya:** "You really don't understand people if you think Charlie has ever been okay."

 **April:** "There's really something not right with him. Don't you guys think his claustrophobia is a little weird. I mean he picked up an alien rock, faced war, he's a prince and he's … claustrophobic."

 **Ram:** "It is a little weird."

 **Tanya:** "April, where'd Matteusz go?"

 **Ram:** "Hey Charlie."

(Realising that Charlie is present the group tenses noticeable, all moving to look directly at him.)

April: "How are you feeling Charlie? (April asks standing.) Can I get you a drink? **"**

 **Charlie:** "Where's Matteusz?" (Charlie asks, almost at a whisper, the uncertainty in his voice evident.)

 **April:** "He's just gone to get some are." (April replies, walking over to Charlie and placing a hand on his arm.)

(Charlie pulls away from Aprils touch, avoiding looking at her or anyone else in the room. He walks across the room until he's on the opposite side to everyone else.)

 **Tanya:** "Charlie, are you okay?" (Tanya asks standing.)

 **Charlie:** "What are you all doing here?" (Charlie asks turning around to face the others in the room, still avoiding direct eye contact with anyone.)

 **Ram:** "We were worried about you mate. You passed out you know."

(At that moment Matteusz came through the front door.)

 **Matteusz:** "Hey guys, I'm back." (Matteusz gets to the door in the Livingroom. When his gaze meets Charlie's, he's stopped in his tracks.) "Charlie. You are awake!"

(Charlie turns his gaze so it avoids Matteusz and looks out the window. As Matteusz slowly walks over to Charlie, the tears in both their eyes can just be seen. Matteusz reaches Charlie, who withdraws slightly before he is able touch him. Noticing this, April speaks up.)

 **April:** "I think we should give you two some space."

 **Ram:** "Yh, Okay."

(Ram, April and Tanya are all standing by this point, the three of them leave the room. Tanya adds before they leave.)

 **Tanya:** "Call us if you need anything guys."

Sorry _this Chapter took me so long to write. I have been busy with well you know life. The thing we have to be involved in even though we don't want to. Remember that?_

 _Then Christmas and New Year also got in the way. Happy Christmas and New Year, to you all._

 _Please also keep in mind that I am yet to see the finale of Class, as I didn't want anything I may learn from that episode to influence this_ Chapter, _or the next few._

 _Keep Reading, I'll Update ASAP!_


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